Cultivating gratitude is a wonderful thing, but forced gratitude clouds our discrimination, and usually mutates into self-recrimination. We’re all exhorted to feel gratitude, but who teaches us to honor feelings of non-gratitude: emptiness, longing, or a gut-level sense that something’s wrong? These feelings hold half the key for achieving our most precious life-goals.
In my decades of practice as a psychotherapist, this is the insight that has inspired me most: Our deepest wounds surround our greatest gifts.
I’ve found that the very qualities we’re most ashamed of, the ones we keep trying to reshape or hide, are in fact the key to finding real love. I call them core gifts.