No matter what you’ve been told, no matter what you’ve feared to be true, the search for love is essentially neither a race against time nor a hunt for a needle in the haystack. It’s a journey toward intimacy, and we shape that journey by the roads we choose. In this post, I want to suggest a shortcut for the brave of heart.
The most common way we sabotage new love possibilities is through what I call the Wave of Distancing (or simply, the Wave). The Wave occurs when we unconsciously push a caring and available person away by inwardly diminishing his or her worth. Our lack of training in the phenomenon of the Wave has led to the loss of countless relationships.