Beneath the glitz of much dating advice lies a cynical reverence for the power of packaging and promotion: “Women, be a vixen. Men, learn to seduce. Everyone keep your partner guessing. Lose weight. Be confident. Get out there more.” At the end of the day, this approach doesn’t lead to love. It leads to insecurity and desperation. Luckily, there is a wiser way.
Almost all of us create a personal “myth of lost love” to explain why love has hurt us in the past. Unexamined, this powerful myth leads to painful relationships with people who aren’t good for us. Decoded, it illuminates our most tender, authentic self; the very self that can lead us to love. This post will help you discover your own myth of lost love.
This short practice is a life-enhancing tool for finding love. It liberates waves of buried passion, and channels that passion to change the course of our intimacy lives. There’s no rigid meditation recipe to follow. All you need is your longing for love and ten minutes a day. Even if your focus is terrible (as mine is), it still works—if you put your heart into it.
The most common way we sabotage new love possibilities is through what I call the Wave of Distancing (or simply, the Wave). The Wave occurs when we unconsciously push a caring and available person away by inwardly diminishing his or her worth. Our lack of training in the phenomenon of the Wave has led to the loss of countless relationships.