On this first day of the New Year, I’d like to share a counter-intuitive approach to human change that I find tremendously exciting. Here is its central idea: Our deepest wounds frequently spring from our greatest gifts, and by acknowledging those gifts, we can speed and deepen our own healing.
Almost all of us create a personal “myth of lost love” to explain why love has hurt us in the past. Unexamined, this powerful myth leads to painful relationships with people who aren’t good for us. Decoded, it illuminates our most tender, authentic self; the very self that can lead us to love. This post will help you discover your own myth of lost love.
I’m delighted to introduce the Single Person’s Thought Leader Series, in which I will interview some of the most exciting thinkers in psychology, science, spirituality and other fields, each with something vital to say about the search for love. I begin this series with Gay Hendricks, PhD; one of the most renowned teachers in the field of conscious intimacy.
Everyone’s heard this platitude: We need to love ourselves before we can love anyone else. This may sound wise, but it misses a great truth; if we want to experience true intimacy, we need to be taught to love ourselves-again and again-by the people around us. No amount of positive self-talk can replicate this experience. It is a gift of intimacy, not of will-power.
I’m Ken Page, LCSW, a psychotherapist whose work focuses on the search for intimacy. I’m delighted to begin this blog for single people and those who support them in their growth. It’s a subject very close to my heart.